


Fame (Hard to Swallow).

by orphan_account



Category: Cody Ko - Fandom, Noel Miller - Fandom, Tiny Meat Gang
Genre: Codel - Freeform, Cody Ko - Freeform, Noel Miller - Freeform, cody is BIGGER baby, sams not an asshole hes just tired ok, sorry if u cry, spock is big baby, tw for drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ““Cody Ko? As in the actor? As in the dude that wrote this years Emmy winning comedy series?” Noel says incredulously, not expecting an answer. “No shit... where at?” He asks finally, swallowing his pride.And if he had never felt more like a God, the seas parted and there sat Cody Ko at a rounded table, railing lines in a plain black t-shirt, surrounded by L.As most beautiful.”Or;A one night stand turns Noel Millers dream of becoming famous into a nightmare. Cody Ko just wants to fucking hide.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	1. THAT NIGHT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love comments more than anything so drop every single thought u have while reading this!! 🥺🥺 enjoy!!

“I feel like I got a fuckin’ stigmatism.” 

The line outside of Playhouse Hollywood falls silent, all eyes landing on a man with too much to say and too little surface area to back it up. The furrowed eyebrows of those around him pulls laughter from his stomach, pushing up the sleeves to his rugby shirt and shaking his head. 

“‘Cause I’m fuckin’ drunk!” He finishes, the sea of confused faces turning tides to a fit of cheers. 

“Noel, dude. C’mon.” The obnoxiously tall man next to him scolds, shaking his head and dropping his gaze to the pavement. If it wasn’t for the fondness in his eyes Noel might have gotten defensive, but instead settled on a simple shrug. 

“You’re gonna get us kicked out before we even get in.” He adds, leaning backwards to see how close they were to the bouncer, giving him a four-fingered wave when his attention falls towards the steadily building line.

“Nah, no way. I’m tame. I’m cool.” Noel assures him. “Spock, man, we’ve been going out every Friday since I was nineteen and you’re just now deciding to get righteous about it? I see you, with yo’ sloppy ass.” He says with a crooked half-smile. Spock rolls his eyes but doesn’t correct him, because to be fair, there was no correction to be made. Ever since the two met at an audition for some indie-bullshit horror short they’ve never gone more than a week without each other, more often than not reconnecting at Spock’s place to pregame before a night they’d never remember.

“Aw, shit. Finally.” Noel says with a grin, tossing his head to the side to gesture to the group in front of them being let in to the club. 

“Here goes nothing.” Spock mumbles, stepping to the bouncer with Noel in tow. 

“Hey man, what’s good?” Noel says easily, dapping the man up and slipping him a $20. 

“I.Ds?” The bouncer booms, prompting the two to pull out their drivers licenses from their back pockets. They extend their arms out and leave them there until the man nods, looking down at his clipboard in thought. Noel knows this little dance all too well, finding the falsehood of the “list” tacky and condescending. He goes to say something snide (because he’s Noel Miller, and thoughts aren’t valid until they’re projected loudly), but Spock’s foot is already pressed warningly on his toes.

“Aight, y’all are good.” The bouncer concludes. Noel and Spock hold back a victorious smile and settle with a cool nod before turning on their heels and heading inside. 

* * *

_** All these hoes want cash, all these hoes want bags. ** _

The bass immediately rattles Noel’s bones, causing a shiver to run up his back that adjusts his posture in response. With his shoulders now squared he points to the bar and gives Spock a questioning thumbs up. All the bigger guy does is shrug, which is the only assurance Noel needs to squeeze through the crowd of swaying bodies. As he gets closer he notices everyone seated at the bar is talking to each other, wrapped up in what seems like the hottest gossip of the century. 

He lifts an eyebrow but says nothing, raising a finger at the bar tender to grab his attention. “Uh... Mind Eraser... Three.”

Noel says loudly, clearing his throat and giving the tender a thankful nod.

He realizes quickly that if you’re not drinking or dancing, there’s not much to do at a club other than eavesdrop.

“I’ll pay for three more rounds if you hoe yourself out to him right now.” A blonde woman says with a giggle, earning a gasp from what Noel could only assume to be her sister.  _But then again_ , Noel thinks,  _all y’all white women look related under club lights._

“Kristen! Are you actually schitzo? He probably has like, Kendall Jenner to keep him company.” The other girl attempts to joke, sounding more jealous than comedic.

“Whatever, Bethany. If I was single I’d totally be getting _aaall_ up on that. Rich dick is  everything.” 

Noel stifles a chuckle, shaking his head and looking down to his lap just in time to see three shots placed in front of his line of vision.

Down one.

_Do you think he notices us staring?_

Down two.

_He’s probably really fucking lame in real life._

Down three.

_If I stole his phone, man... Endless possibilities._

“ Aight, who the fuck are y’all talking about?” Noel asks a little too loudly, sending laughter through the small group that had formed.

“Cody Ko is here.” Bethany says, wide eyed and probably soaking through her LuLu Lemons.

“Otherwise known tonight as Cody Koke.” A man a few seats down sneers. Noel shoots him a disapproving look, not allowing the dude to feel funny for even a second.

“Cody Ko? As in the actor? As in the dude that wrote this years  Emmy winning comedy series?” Noel says incredulously, not expecting an answer. “No shit... where at?” He asks finally, swallowing his pride.

And if he had never felt more like a God, the seas parted and there sat Cody Ko at a rounded table, railing lines in a plain black t-shirt, surrounded by L.As most beautiful. 


	2. THAT NIGHT.

“I gotta go say something.” Noel announces, causing Spock, who had only just sat down, to practically jump out of his skin. 

“You’re a fucking lunatic, man. You can’t just  say something to dudes like that, especially not here.” Spock reasons, eyes never leaving Cody, who had just finished his third line and was grinning like the world was his.

“Nah, dude. You’re not thinking of this logically. Now’s the best time— he’s in a great mood, look at him!” Noel laughs, and he’s right. Cody is on cloud 9 and isn’t coming down any time soon.

“Your funeral.” Spock concludes, downing his second Lemon Drop. 

Noel finishes his fifth shot and shivers, eyes locked on the target with a big ego and even bigger pupils. “Go time.” He mutters to himself, climbing off his stool and searching desperately for his balance.

His head is spinning but he’s careless, pushing through sweaty bodies and gawking faces until he’s stood there, front and center of the dozen-packed table, dry mouthed and ready to fuck up his whole life.

“Yo, award boy. What’s good?” He says loudly with a smile, reaching his arm over the table to Cody, fully prepared for the dap of his life. 

Cody quirks an eyebrow, the rest of his group silencing in some-confusion and some-disgust. Noel holds strong, though, his half smile never leaving. Suddenly Cody bursts into a fit of laughter, looking Noel up and down before grabbing his hand.  Absolutely the dap of his life.

“Everything, man. What’s good with you?” Cody says coolly, as cool as he can over the music. He sits back with his arms crossed, scanning over Noel’s body again... and again. Noel would have to be Hellen Keller to not notice.

“Living my best. Everyone over there was talking about you but was too pussy to step up. Just tryna prove a point.” Noel jokes, and Cody’s laughing again. 

“For sure, for sure. You don’t even know who I am, do you?” Cody cracks, which makes Noel’s smile grow. 

He doesn’t skip a beat, though, immediately firing back with an easy, “No idea.”

“Come here and I’ll show you.” Cody announces, and this definitely throws Noel off— it’s brief, just enough time for him to wonder how the fuck he got here.

“Move. Let him in.” Cody demands, three in-unison sighs being released by the perfectly sculpted humans to the left of him. Before Noel can blink, they’re standing, waiting for him to take his place. 

And he does. 

He slides between the seats and the table until he’s next to Cody, knees brushing briefly as he sits.

“I was messing with you before, I know who you are.” Noel says sarcastically, knowing Cody had already picked up on his joke from before.

“Right, right. And who are you?” Cody asks genuinely, licking his lips and hitting Noel with another Cheshire smile.

“Noel. Noel Miller. I’d say I’m a big fan, but that’s kinda gay.” He says, locking eyes with the obliterated boy in front of him. 

Cody chuckles and runs his fingers through his hair, eyes darting to Noel’s mouth just long enough for him to take notice. 

“Alright, not-gay-Noel, what do you do?” Cody presses, and Noel hesitates.

“I, uh, I’m a director. Well, I want to be. I’m trying to be. Shit’s hard out here, but I’m working.” Noel says, finally breaking the eye contact. He had hoped Cody wouldn’t think he was some mindless clout chaser, because that’s never been Noel’s game. He was work oriented through and through, and would never dream of using a human being as a stepping stone. He could do shit on his own, and he had been for a long ass time. 

“Ah, I see. Thought you could come over here looking the way you do and get some connections? Maybe steal my phone? Bold. I see you.” Cody says, his tone completely unreadable.

“For sure, for sure. By the way, don’t check your pockets.” Noel replies just as flat. “Nah, man. I ain’ like that. I dig your shit and just wanted to meet you. Nothing else.” 

Cody’s leg, for the first time since Noel first saw him, stops bouncing. Their eyes find each other again. Noel stops breathing, the music suddenly much louder than he had remembered. Did he say the wrong thing? Was he too honest? Not honest enough? Everything’s in slow motion and Noel wants nothing more than to be with Bethany and Kirsten/Krisanthamum/whoever-the-fuck again.

“That’s... yeah. That’s cool.” Cody says, a shit-eating grin beginning to consume his face. The music gets quieter. The world proceeds as normal, and Noel lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding to clear his throat. 

“What, do I look like a pick pocket or something? Do I look  that broke?” Noel asks with a laugh, but his head is tilted in the way that reads entirely curious.

“Huh?” Cody asks, grabbing a shot from the table and throwing it back with ease.

“You know the whole ‘looking the way you do’ thing?” 

Cody laughs, shaking his head. “Definitely not what I meant. I meant looking, you know, hot... ready for anything.” 

If you could overdose from eye contact, Noel would be dead on the floor by now. Cody‘s gaze was intense, almost animalistic… hungry. If it were anyone but Noel they’d be afraid, but he was fascinated. So much so that he shifted in his seat so his body was facing Cody, propping his arm on the back of the cushion.

“So Cody, how long are you going to keep me trapped here? I have a friend waiting for me... I should probably get back.” Noel says a bit quieter, biting at his bottom lip. 

He knows Cody won’t let him go. It’s an unspoken power, but Noel knows when he has it.

“I think...” Cody says slowly, feigning deep thought. “I think I’m going to keep you for the night.” Cody decides, reaching out his hand to place an index finger under Noel’s chin. Noel grabs his wrist and shakes his head.

“Nuh uh, pretty boy. You’re not gonna touch me like one of these party girls.” Noel warns, causing Cody’s face to heat up. He parts his lips to speak, but Noel cuts him off immediately. 

“You’ve spent your whole ass career showing people who you are. It’s my turn.” Noel says, his voice low and saturated in confidence. For the first time that night, Cody looks small.

* * *

“Bruh!” Noel laughs maniacally, waving his hands to signal rejection. “Nah, no fucking way. There is no way Elon Musk wants anything to do with your ass.”

“I swear to God, man, look.” Cody’s beaming, the cool-toned light from his phone illuminating all the best features Noel didn’t know he had. Noel notices his freckles first— scattered across his drunkenly flushed cheeks. He wonders which ones were born of sun exposure, if any at all. Did Cody get outside much? If so, for what? Surfing, Noel guessed. Maybe volleyball.

He notices the mole on his chin second. It’s covered by lazy stubble, and you could only ever see it if you were looking for it—and Noel was. He was in desperate search of anything that made Cody different enough to remember, burning small details into his brain. No matter how wasted he got, Noel promised himself to wake up the next morning in memory of patterns on skin, skin that belonged to Cody, Cody that belonged to the most surreal night of his life. Noel was sat centimeters apart from his Hollywood dream, and he was determined to make the most of it.

“Are you seeing this shit?” Cody asks incredulously, pointing at his screen to a gray text bubble that reads ‘Just a couple of cold ones. No one has to know.’

Noel’s pulled back to earth, eyes traveling to the contact name.

“Wait a minute...” 

“I told you, dude! Elon fucking Musk. My life is insane.” Cody says, locking his phone and tossing it across the table.

The absence of visibility on Cody’s face makes Noel sad. But only for a second. Just a second, he swears.

“You gonna go?” Noel asks casually, taking a sip of whiskey out of someone else’s glass.

“Nah. I’m good here.” Cody’s dazed. He leans his head back, looking out of the corner of his eyes to Noel. He’s high as fuck, but Noel’s got the adrenaline to match.

“I’m really good here... too good here.” Cody adds dreamily, licking at his bottom lip and staring at Noel in a way that makes him shiver.

“That sucks, ‘cause I gotta get back to my homie.” Noel teases.

“No, you don’t.” Cody responds easily, looking up at the ceiling and trying desperately to adjust his eyes.

“The fuck you just say to me, man?” Noel laughs, looking at Cody with an exaggerated confused expression.

“Woah, relax before you turn me on.” Cody says with a smile, turning his head again so all the attention was on Noel.

“It’s that easy, huh?” Noel asks, no longer sure if he’s joking.

“Nah, even easier. All you had to do was walk over here.” 

* * *

Noel’s skin is burning. The combination of the alcohol and Cody’s mouth on his neck set his entire body ablaze, hands gripping Cody’s hips and holding him against the bathroom wall. 

“Easy, bloodsucker. I got work tomorrow.” Noel says with a laugh, the hoarseness in his voice making Cody push closer to him. He bites over the forming hickey on Noel’s collar before pulling back, looking at Noel with blown pupils. Noel knows it’s probably the coke in his system causing Cody’s eyes to dilate, but he lets himself take credit for it. 

Cody’s lips are raw and red, the neon blue lights making them all the more inviting. Noel wants desperately to kiss them, but he fears the intimacy of it might scare Cody away.  _What the fuck am I doing? Am I taking advantage of him? Nah, I’m fucking drunk. We’re both fucked. This fool doesn’t even know my name._ Noel’s brain is racing, the only thing keeping him grounded are Cody’s eyes searching his desperately, waiting for something— anything.

“You can kiss me. You should kiss me.” Cody says breathlessly, eyes staring dreamily at Noel’s lips. He’s smiling again. 

Noel had never been one for rash decisions. There were moments in his life where they had to be made, of course, but he never sought them out— never found them in the eyes of a stranger. He was confident, more so than most, but his confidence came from what he knew; certainties that came with what he was proud of. On-the-spot was a dangerous place for him to be. There was no studying, no practicing in the mirror, no take-when-needed anxiety meds. He was forced to be himself, and that person... Noel hated that person. 

But the fake it ‘til you make it method seemed to be his holy grail, and had been for as long as he could remember.

“Oh yeah? You on that gay shit?” Noel jokes, and Cody’s in a fit of giggles, his face now buried deep in Noel’s neck.

Hearing Cody’s laughter soothes something inside of him, and as the laughter begins to fade Noel pulls away. They’re both breathless, dazed. 

Noel places his hand on Cody’s jaw, meeting his gaze as he swipes his thumb over Cody’s bottom lip. Cody’s breath hitches, his eyes wide and pleading— a face so pathetic Noel would almost feel guilty if he didn’t act fast.

The kiss is much softer than Noel had planned. His mouth traps Cody’s bottom lip, fingers spreading over Cody’s jaw to cup his cheek, his other hand holding Cody’s hip. Cody’s gripping at his shirt, fist to chest, falling limp under the contact.

Noel pulls away first. They hold position.

“Was that okay?” Noel questions, his voice quiet.

“I’ve had better.” Cody teases, biting back a smile.

Noel pushes on his hip harshly, causing his back to slam against the wall. He was about to apologize, but by the look on Cody’s face, he knows he doesn’t have to. 

That one look, the one that screams  _I’m yours, do whatever the fuck you want_ is all it takes for his confidence to resurface, his other hand traveling around from Cody’s cheek to grip his hair. 

“You think you’re funny, pretty boy?” Noel asks lowly, and Cody’s testing him again.

“Definitely funnier than you.”

Noel’s mouth is on his again, a kiss so rough he feared it might bruise. Noel can’t decide whether Cody’s top or bottom lip is more inviting, so he trades between both feverishly. Every time their tongues meet Cody’s grip on the other mans shirt tightens, each small breath coming out more jagged than the last. Noel takes another fistful of bleached blonde hair and pulls it in sync with a bite to Cody’s bottom lip. Cody’s shaking and his eyes are closed; and Noel is feeding off the power. 

“Where’d all that Hollywood confidence go, award boy? You leave it back at the table? I can go look for you if—“ 

“Shut the fuck up.” Cody breathes. 

A small smile pulls at the corner of Noels mouth and Cody knows he’s done for. Noel grabs the younger ones hips and spins him around so he’s facing the wall, forearm pressed to Cody’s back, holding his chest against the cool tile. Noel leans in, lips to Cody’s ear, hips pressed against the curve of his ass.

“Come again?” He questions lowly.

“I’d need to cum a first time in order to do it again.” Cody replies quickly, causing Noel to push harder on his back. Cody’sshoulder blades give out and he whimpers, cheek now pressed against the linoleum.

“You better watch yourself, Kolodziejzyk. Guys like you don’t know guys like me. I’m not gonna kiss your feet, I’m not gonna let you play God. No fucking way.” Noel says, his voice so deep and close that Cody feels it in his bones. He’s never been this hard in his life.

“Then show me.” Cody says quietly, his voice uneven and pleading.

Noel grinds his hips forward and Cody fucking  whimpers. 

This is it. This is how Noel dies. For a second he swears he hears the grim reaper push the bathroom door open,  _Holy shit, holy shit. I got so horny I died. Will they put that shit on my gravestone? They should definitely—_

“ Cody, you gotta go, man.” 

Noel is pulled out of his thoughts, turning around and finding a somewhat familiar face staring at the floor, body halfway out the door. 

Cody stays facing the wall, his elbow resting against it and face buried into his forearm. 

“Sam, fuck off.” Cody demands. He sounds annoyed, Noel notes, the same annoyed you hear from a rebellious teenager being told to come home. Noel can tell this isn’t the first time this has happened. 

“You’ll thank me when you come down, you always do. Now come on, our Uber’s almost here.” Sam says, his voice demanding but somehow gentle, almost guilty.

“Yo, who the fuck is this dude?” Noel interjects. 

Cody finally turns around but doesn’t look at either of them, his head held low enough that his hair covers his eyes. 

“S’my manager.” Cody says quietly, no less angry than before. Noel notices that his fists are clenched.

“I gotta go.” Cody says finally, shooting a look to Sam that prompts him out of the restroom. 

“Give me your phone.” Cody says hurriedly, holding his hand out and making grabby hands.

“Uh... you sure you wanna give me your number?” Noel asks, confusion inching its way through his vocal chords. He couldn’t tell if it was the foreign situation or the alcohol that was making his head spin.

“I’m not done with you. Give it to me.” Cody pushes, and for some reason this makes Noel smile. 

“Aight, princess. Here.” Noel says with a chuckle, pulling his phone from his back pocket, unlocking it, and handing it to Cody.

Cody’s thumbs are working fast and noel assumes it’s because Sam is due back any second. The thought makes his blood boil.  _Who the fuck did that dude think he was pushing another grown man around like that? That’s dehumanizing as fuck._

“ Here.” Cody breathes, placing the phone back with its rightful owner.

“See you soon.” Cody concludes with a smile, licking his lips and taking one last look at Noel before running out of the bathroom.

_Man, what the fuck?_


	3. UNCHAINED.

“One night, Sam!  All I wanted was one night of fucking around— of being a goddamn normal human being!” 

Cody doesn’t remember the last time he’s yelled this loud. He’s difficult, sure, but its always passive— snarky & fleeting, never with boiling blood and burning lungs. Sam is silent, sitting on Cody’s couch while he paces, his hands frantically pushing through his hair.

“You know it’s not safe, dude. Your career, your  life is at risk here. One wrong move and you’ve got yourself a place on the trending page. You know that— after last time, you definitely fucking know that.” Sam says, exasperated. 

“Why does it always come back to that? The whole world forgave me, why can’t you?” 

“How cocky can you be? Are you really this out of touch? The whole world didn’t forgive you, asshole! Your fans did. People that need jobs did. Do you know how many clients dropped me because of what you did? Clients that didn’t scream in my face every time I did what I got hired to do?” Sam’s the one fuming now, the shift in energy making Cody’s head spin. He sits to keep himself falling, or to keep himself from throwing hands— he’s too dizzy to tell.

“I said I’m sorry! So many fucking times I said it. Noel wasn’t like that, he wouldn’t—“

“You don’t know him, Cody! You don’t know any of them! Everyone thinks you’re so humble, so  human  because you let anyone in as long as they’re the slightest bit nice to you, but guess what, pal? It doesn’t make you down to earth, it makes you stupid.” Sams words are quick, final, piercing Cody right through his still chest.

Silence.

“When was the last time you saw me as a friend and not a liability?” Cody questions. His voice is weak, eyes desperately searching for a met gaze. There is none, though— Sam’s staring at the floor again. 

“Not for awhile, man. Not for awhile.” He admits quietly, ashamed and certain. 

Cody’s heart falls into his stomach, his breath catching in his throat so quickly he doesn’t even realize it. The silence is deafening and it aches in Codys ears. He wants to cry, so desperately he wants to fall to his knees in tears, but instead he clears his throat, feigning the familiar coldness. 

“Alright then.” Cody says finally, fighting off the shakiness that tries to rattle his vocal chords. 

He gets up without a word and heads for the door. Sam opens his mouth to speak, but he’s too tired. Too tired of it all.


	4. NIGHT LIFE.

Noel doesn’t remember getting home. He’s sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling, trying to retrace the moments after Cody left. No matter how hard he focuses, though, all he sees is Cody leaving— over and over again, nothing after. Spock had gone home with somebody else but Noel was too lost to feel proud. He thinks, only for a second, to jerk off. He pictures a birds eye view of the club bathroom, skin on skin, the heat of Cody’s back spread over his chest as he grinds against him. He pictures Codys lips, deep blue from the fluorescents, parted as an invitation. His hands go for his belt, but then his vision flashes to Cody’s eyes during their goodbye. They were so unbelievably empty, so worn, so human. Noel lets out an exaggerated breath and takes a fistful of his hair. Why the fuck did he care about this dudes problems? He was a multimillionaire with enough power to reinvent the film industry as many times as he saw fit. He was Noel’s dream. Why the fuck was Cody so vacant?

His phone buzzes before he can search for answers.

**hey what’s good**?

What the fuck? There’s no way.

** it’s cody from earlier  **

Okay, so there definitely is a way. 

_** [...] ** _

**i was wondering if you wanted to finish up what we started**

_Damn, triple texting already_? Noel thinks, chuckling to himself. His thumbs type an agreement and an address before his brain gets a chance to send off warning signs.

“Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck. Oh fuck shit.” Noel goes off to himself, clambering to his feet. _What the fuck is your problem? Is embarrassing yourself in front of a Hollywood elitist really worth getting your dick wet?_ Noels thoughts are coming in hot. He looks around his apartment— his tiny, underwhelming and completely humiliating apartment. 

Noel has never been embarrassed by things like this. He grew up in the slums of Southern California, had to learn to value himself before his possessions in the face of materialistic L.A. He prided himself most days, in fact, most of his scripts rooted in all he had done to stay away from the path of crime and minimum wage his peers has cleared for him. He was barely middle class, but he had a place of his own and dreams that expanded past the crowded walls of it. He should be proud, he had every reason on earth to be, but compared to Cody... he felt like nothing. 

There were many things about the city that Cody never cared to understand. The way streets ebbed and flowed into one another with no real order, the bursts of human activity that never seemed to find rhythm, the way no one cared to fix the jaggedness of skylines; things that most would never think twice about. Above all, though, he couldn’t wrap his mind around traffic. There were so many ways to turn, he thought, so many places to be, yet the whole fucking city decided to settle in front of him. If he wasn’t so damn tired of being angry he might bring a fist to his steering wheel with a dozen or so curses, but instead settled on adjusting the radio volume until it was audible.

He avoided music to stop from feeling anything below surface level— he needed something unremarkable, something mundane, like a podcast. Precisely a podcast.

While pondering which one he felt would fit this particular drive, the once neutral roll of tires accelerated into spins, eyes adjusting to the newly green luminosity, blinkers forgotten in the chaos of things. Two minutes on the clock. Two minutes until he’d be greeted by a reality check with humanoid features. 

It should be easy, in theory. He had based his entire career under the impression that he was likable, at least enough so to get his point across. If not even to sell himself, but to listen and become an extension of those around him. To tilt his head with an easy hum of curiosity and watch people unravel before him was a gift he never took for granted and definitely never doubted— not until tonight. Not until Noel. Noel had no interest in playing into his God complex, no interest in bending over in a bathroom stall in an attempt to be memorable. Noel existed for himself, and Cody was scared of that. 

Noel’s squared, confident shoulders were the only thing in Codys mind as he parked his car just slightly over the curb that shielded the other mans apartment complex. It wasn’t until he checked his watch that he felt the need to stop himself, landing on his toes at the door leading to the apartments foyer. Was it selfish to keep Noel awake for any longer than he already had? This whole thing was selfish— he had stormed off like a child and was seeking comfort in someone he barely knew. Was he as egocentric as Sam made him out to be?

He was about to take off, already turning on heels, when he heard a buzz coming from the door behind him. Noel had seen him. Noel had seen him bouncing anxiously on his toes, muttering to himself like a certified psychopath. He tried to run, he really did, but his feet wouldn’t take him off the stoop. No matter how hard he tried, he was stuck, lead in his shoes.

_Noel, Noel, Noel._


	5. FADING INTO MORNING.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning. skip if ur not into it.

“It’s not much, but it’s home. I mean... I guess it’s home. I guess this is what home is supposed to feel like— man, I don’t know.” 

Noel is much more sheepish than he was a few hours ago. His head is ducked, hand rubbing nervously over the back of his neck out of habit. Cody hates that he has this effect on people, so much to the point where he’s become hyper-aware of it, his eyes scanning the other mans body language like a crossword puzzle. 

“It’s cool. Really cool... I mean, you have swords on the wall. That’s tight as fuck.” Cody assures him with a smile and Noel feels himself relax at that.

“Yeah. They’re from a project I was working on awhile back, probably about a year ago now. I keep reminding myself to take them down but I really don’t want to fuck with them. Did you know katanas were sharp?” Noel jokes half-heartedly, audibly less nervous. He takes a step behind Cody and grabs the collar of his jacket, pulling it down his arms and tossing it onto his kitchen table. Cody’s face is red at the gentleness of the gesture, mumbling an incoherent ‘thank you’ with the faintest of smiles.

With Noel in the lead they walk over to his couch, both sitting warily on the edge of it, not entirely willing to get comfortable. The air is heavy and Noel feels it filling his chest. 

“I gotta ask you something.” Noel blurts, so urgently you’d think he’d been holding it in for a lifetime.

“Okay, shoot.” Cody agrees quickly, maybe too quickly. 

“Why did you let that fool boss you around like that? You’re grown. Can’t you just, like, say no?” 

Cody winces at the question the second it dismissed itself from Noels tongue.

“I mean... yeah, I guess, but not really. Sam’s saved my ass more times than anyone will ever know. He’s the only person I’ve got that genuinely gives a fuck about me— or at least I thought he did. It’s hard to explain, man. I just know that I don’t want to make dealing with me any harder than it already is.” Cody rambles, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that Noel can’t help but find charming.

“When was the last time you did something for yourself? You know, some crazy idea that you could just  go with . No intervention, no guilt. Just you.” Noel doesn’t expect an answer immediately, and he sure as hell doesn’t get one. 

Cody’s raking his brain, digging through dozens of memories and discarding them at any sign of his management. He can’t think— he doesn’t want to think. 

He shakes his head.

“Alright, so if I...” Noel begins quietly, bringing his hand up to Codys face, rubbing his palm up his cheek then through his hair, revealing all details buried behind its loose strands. “did this... What would Sam say?” Noel hums.

“I... he wouldn’t, uh, he wouldn’t...” Cody tries, but Noel had moved closer to him and his lips are right there and they’re so familiar and so inviting and—

“See? It doesn’t fucking matter what he would do. What do _you_ wanna do, Cody?” Noel whispers, and Cody can’t fucking breathe. He knows what he wants, he feels the pull of it in every muscle, every nerve. The room is dark, only lit by street lights and passing cars, and he’s free. 

“Fuck it.” Cody says with a smile, sliding his hands underneath Noels shirt and pulling it hurriedly over his head. He climbs into Noels lap and kisses him hard, his hands gliding over the plains of the other mans bare stomach and chest. Noel grips Cody’s hips, finding his rhythm in their kiss and getting lost in it. Cody licks over his bottom lip and his hold tightens, the pads of his fingers surely bruising Cody’s sides. His pointer fingers slide beneath Cody’s shirt, the warm, inhumanly soft skin setting fire inside him. He grips the hem of Cody’s t-shirt and removes it swiftly, forcing their mouths to part. They’re breathing heavy, Noel staring up at Cody like his most faithful religion. Maybe he really was God.

“You’re... wow, yeah. Fuck.” Noel says, not really sure if he meant it for Cody’s ears.

“Yeah. You too.” Cody’s smiling again, hands gripping Noel’s shoulders before circling his hips, testing. 

Noel gasps, lips parted, pushing up into Cody in response. That’s all the assurance Cody needs to get down on his knees in front of Noel, palms spread over the others thighs, eyes pleading.

“You don’t have to— I mean, is this really what you want? I could, you know, do something— not that I don’t want— are you sure?” Noel questions, and if his dick had a conscious it would be mentally beating the shit out of him for it.

“Trust me... I want it, Noel. You have no idea how badly I want it.” Cody says quietly. There’s the same vulnerability in his voice as earlier, and Noel can’t fucking take it. He grabs a fistful of Cody’s hair and nods at him. 

“Alright then, pretty boy. Show me what you got.” Noel says lowly, licking over his bottom lip hungrily. 

Cody’s hands slide up the other mans legs and go for his belt, pulling the leather from the buckle in a way that Noel shouldn’t be enamored by but completely is. He fumbles with the button to his skinny jeans for a bit, his hands working faster than his brain can guide him. He takes the denim waistband and tugs gently, prompting Noel to lift his body in response. Cody only gets them past Noels thighs before he’s mouthing at him through his briefs, placing drool-soaked kisses over his dick. 

Noel’s fully hard now, head falling back at the contact he wasn’t aware he needed until he felt it. 

“Cody, man. Please... I’ve been waiting all night for you. Come on.” Noel begs, words like adderall stealing all of Cody’s focus. 

The second Noel’s briefs are down Cody has his tongue on him, flat, following the prominent vein up his shaft. Noel’s head is tilted back and his eyes are closed, his breathing sharp and uneven. Cody’s watching him carefully, studying the rise and fall of his chest, the way his face would twist and relax with no real order. Cody brings his tongue in slow circles around the head, a motion that has Noel groaning and tugging at his hair. 

“If you don’t... get serious, I’m gonna do the work myself.” Noel breathes, expecting his half-assed threat to have at least some pay off. But instead Cody pulls away completely, a strand of spit between Noels dick and his bottom lip, his mouth hanging open dumbly. Noel’s immediately alarmed by the loss of contact, eyes fluttering open and finding their way to the man on his knees in front of him.

_You submissive ass bitch_ ... Noel thinks to himself, pulling Cody’s head back by his hair. 

“Let me get a good look at you.” Noel says quietly, a voice so low it could be mistaken as a vibration. 

Cody’s cheeks are flushed, his lips raw and red and waiting. His eyes are staring up at Noel, and the older man can read them all too well. 

“Fuckin’ pretty.” Noel mumbles, releasing his grip to run his fingers soothingly through Cody’s hair before grabbing at it again, much harder than last time. He pushes his hips up slowly and Cody’s jaw slacks, inviting Noels cock to the back of his throat. Noel’s gentle at first, enjoying the slow spread of heat down his shaft, but he knows it won’t be enough for very long. It’s because of this that he pulls out after giving Cody all he could, taking the faintest of seconds before fucking back into him, a loud groan tearing through his chest. Tears are streaming down Codys face and he’s loving every second of it, hollowing out his cheeks like he’s done it a thousand times before— and to be fair, he probably has. Noel’s found a good rhythm now, his jaw clenched and back arched, using his free hand to hold himself up. 

“Fuck, oh fuck.” Noel drawls, giving another pull to Cody’s hair. 

They lock eyes again, gazes heavy and strong. Cody has drool running down his chin and Noel’s stomach flexes with every thrust, sights that send a moan through them both. 

“I’m gonna— fuck, oh my god.” Noels voice is hoarse and shaken, and Cody can’t help but pride himself. He tightens the muscles in his cheeks and digs his fingernails into Noel’s thighs, a sure sign of readiness that Noel couldn’t miss. 

Noel pushes his length all the way to the back of Cody’s throat and holds it there, his head tossed back and body tensed. Within seconds he’s coming fast, a breath exchanged for a soft “ah”. Noel’s not at all surprised that Cody swallows with ease, because to be fair, everything about this boy was otherworldly. 

Noel collapses back onto the couch, his hand falling from Cody’s hair to his cheek to wipe a stream of tears away with his thumb. 

“Holy shit.” Is all Noel can muster, hooking his finger under Cody’s chin and pulling lightly. “C’mere.” 

Cody winces as soon as the pressure is gone from his knees, pulling himself up to the couch and sitting next to Noel, eyes glued to the floor.

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Get over here.” Noel says, a smile pulling its way through his apparent confusion.

“Oh... really? Most people just— not that there is ‘most people’, it’s not like I... yeah. Okay. Yeah.” Cody rambles, feigning nonchalantness as he scoots over and leans back, slowly bringing his head down to rest on Noel’s shoulder. Noel lifts his arm and places it around Cody, spreading his fingers over the others bicep and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“I know I already said it, but I really ain’t like that.” Noel says quietly, turning his head to push his nose into Cody’s hair.

“I know. I had a feeling.” Cody admits shyly.

”And you’re sure there’s nothing I can do for you?” The older man presses, dragging his pointer finger down Codys arm. Cody simply shakes his head in response, a smile creeping onto his blushing cheeks.  


“Alright then. Now that that’s out of the way, tell me why you’re really here.”

It’s 3a.m and Cody should be exhausted, he really should be. “I guess I should probably start from the beginning.”


	6. BUSINESS PARTNERS.

Noel has never made coffee for another living soul. He likes his with enough cream and sugar to make Willy Wonkas dick retract, he knew that much, but completely black? He fucked it up for sure. 

_This mans just saw your whole ass dick and you’re worried about his coffee order? You good?_ Noel chastises himself, setting his Conor Mcgregor printed mug in front of Cody, who was now sitting at his kitchen table. Noel grabs the chair to his left and pulls it forward, impossibly closer, and takes a seat.

“What you saw tonight? In the bathroom? Happens at least a dozen times a month.” Cody admits, and Noel’s struggling to read the emotion behind it, if there’s any at all. “I’ll find someone I wanna, you know, but in comes Sam or whoever’s in charge of me for the night, and I’m completely helpless. It’s like... it’s like having your clothes wet, you know? An even weight all over you, and no matter what you do, you can never forget it’s there. I’m not trying to bitch, I’m really not. My life’s pretty damn good and I know that I’m lucky, but I’m so tired. I’m so fucking tired, man. Every day I picture what it would be like to just... be gone. Not dead, or whatever. Just fuckin’ gone.” 

“‘In charge’ of you? Are you for real?” Noel says incredulously, rolling his eyes up at the ceiling. “You’re one of the most brilliant dudes in the business, you know that, don’t you? I watch your shit and I laugh, man, I really fucking laugh. The industry is so depressing now— just a bunch of brainless one-liners driven by an exaggerated sense of humanity. But you, dude... you bring it all back.” Noel rambles, shaking his head fondly at the hours spent watching Cody light up even the most mundane of scenes. He wants to continue, so badly he bites his tongue— but one look at Cody and he can tell he shouldn’t. Something in his eyes says he hadn’t heard sincerity in a long, long time. “Everything I loved about movies and tv growing up, you brought back. You got this light; a reminder of what it means to entertain, to switch up some struggling kids shitty day, to inspire anyone who has been told that being funny wont pay the bills. You shine. In everything you do, you shine. So why the fuck are you letting anyone tell you who to be? I’ve seen your art, I’ve seen you, and there’s nothing worth hiding. Take control of yourself. Pull yourself out of a bathroom only when you want to. And if you fuck up a few times? Cool. You’ll learn and grow up. You gotta stop letting people treat knowing you as a business transaction. You’re too talented for that shit, you’re just too fucking talented.” Noel’s voice trails off, shaking his head and dodging any attempt at eye contact. He briefly wonders if he’s earned the right to be pissed on the blondes behalf.

Cody’s grinning like a child, his chest puffed out and eyebrows raised, pride wrapping its arms around him like there was nothing sweeter in this world. He feels weightless, more so than after any line or hit, and he wonders if this is what it feels like to be normal. No, Cody decides, this is better than normal. Better than anything.

_I’m not a liability, I’m... I’m a goddamn light._

“Just because I sucked your dick doesn’t mean you have to suck mine.” Cody beams after a moment, sending Noel into a fit of laughter.

“Man, fuck you. I was just trying to be nice.” Noel says, voice strained from laughing. 

“No, I know, I know. Thank you, Noel. I mean it. You have no idea how much I mean it.” 

* * *

“Is this the project you were talking about?” Cody yells to Noel, who had since made his way into his bedroom to find them some new clothes, preferably ones that weren’t drenched in alcohol and sweat.

Noel peers around the corner, his eyes landing on Cody who had somehow gotten his raccoon paws on his draft-script notebook.

“Hey! Don’t touch my stuff. It’s private.” Noel grumbles, tossing Cody a pair of sweatpants and an old Stussy t-shirt. 

“Alright, grandpa. Relax. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” The younger man assures him, pulling at the legs of his jeans and kicking them off. 

“I’m not embarrassed, I just wasn’t, you know, ready.” Noel argues, taking a seat on his couch, now in a fresh set of clothes. 

“Good. Don’t be. It’s good, man. Real fucking good. I’d kill to see this shit brought to life.” 

“Nah, Suki... She’s just a dream. I thought I could pull it off, got all these rights and permits, but it fell flat within the year. I should’ve anticipated it, honestly, I got in way over my head. Her only purpose now is to remind me of the importance of a nine to five job.” Noel says in his best (what he would appropriately call) dad voice. He lets out a sigh, shrugging his shoulders in a defeat Cody wasn’t prepared to let go of.

“Fuck that, dude! You worked really hard on this, you got fucking swords on your walls—“

“Katanas. They’re katanas.”

“Fine, katanas, whatever. The point is you have a light too. A big, fat, shining, uh... bulb.”

“Bruh, you suck at this.” Noel stifles a laugh.

“I know, whatever. I don’t care. The point is, this is good shit and I’m not gonna miss out on seeing it brought to life.” 

“Oh, right, it’s all for you.”

“For sure. I don’t give a shit about you.” Cody nods, waving a hand haphazardly in Noels direction. “No, but for real. I wanna help you out with this— anything you need. Any questions, connections, whatever. I don’t care. I’m serious.”

“And so am I. You can’t waste your time, man, I’m a nobody. You have real shit to work on.” Noel states as if nothing’s ever been more definitive.

Cody takes a seat next to him with a sigh, studying Noels side profile like every answer he ever needed was written in the freckles on his cheek.

“Trust me, Noel. You’re more real than anybody I’ve ever met out there. You deserve a chance to be seen too.”


	7. 3 P.M

It’s winter when Cody starts visiting Noel on his lunch breaks. It started off small, just a coffee when he found time, maybe a croissant if he was feeling generous. It’s been three weeks since the two had met and Cody was on his way up Fullscreens elevator, Noel’s lunch packed neatly in a brand new lunchbox. He got off at the forth floor like he had done nearly every day since, waving and greeting Noel’s coworkers, a smile spread across his face and an unmistakable skip in his step. Cody would never admit it, but Noel’s office was one of his favorite places. He loved the sound of relentless typing and the smell of coffee. He loved the family portraits on everyone’s desks— the way their smiles could light up even the most bland of spaces. He loved Noels desk the most, though. It embodied him perfectly; organized but somehow managing to look cluttered, a Wes Anderson quote pinned to a cork board. Sometimes Noel would leave his jacket slung over his chair and Cody could picture him slouched over, working as hard as he always did. Noel was so dedicated, and Cody admired him for it. He’d never admit that, either.

“Jeananne.” Cody says warmly, leaning against the cubicle she and Noel shared. 

“Cody Ko, what a pleasant surprise.” Her voice was flat and entirely unenthused, as it always was when it came to Cody, her eyes never leaving her computer.

“You’ll love me someday, you’ll see. Just you wait.” Cody grinned, nudging her rolling chair with his foot.

“He’s on the balcony. Now please, for the love of god, leave me alone.” Jeananne pleads, and Cody bows.

“Thank you, wise one. You always know just what to say.” 

* * *

The sun is burning Noel’s eyes. He’s sat at a picnic table, papers laid scattered in front of him like some sort of mad scientist. Folders upon folders of resumes and headshots, four separate final copies of his script covering what once was a pleasant place to eat. 

“Hey.” 

Noel turns his head around quickly, his baseline annoyed expression fading into a fond smile. Cody always looked the prettiest under natural light. 

It was near sunset when Noel first noticed it. They had spent the day at the Santa Monica pier, trying desperately to get inspired. They were sat in the sand, tired, Noel begging Cody to let him quit Suki for good. Cody said nothing, though, just stared out over the water. Noel watched the way his shirt rippled in the salty breeze, noticed how his skin shone impossibly golden. And if just looking at Cody was all it took for Noel to become animated again, perhaps there were some things he’d never admit to too.

“Just in time! Dude, you’re not gonna believe this. Not a single one of these girls are Japanese, not one! I read the ad a million damn times and I specifically said— or did I? No, I definitely did.” Noels off in his head again, which Cody would find adorable if it wasn’t so goddamn time consuming. He sits down next to Noel and pushes the papers aside. 

“Guess what I brought?” Cody asks with a smile, trying to pull Noel back down to earth. 

“This is a toughie, Alex, but I’m really gonna go with my gut here. What is... Chic-fil-a?” Noel says confidently, but Cody’s already shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, but that is incorrect.” Cody sighs, adding a half-assed buzzer noise to hold up his end of the bit.“I know you’ve been talking about wanting to get in shape, and I figured eating fast food every day wasn’t really gonna do you any favors.” Cody begins, setting his lunch on the table and unzipping the top. “Grilled chicken and rice from the heart of yours truly.”

“Oh my god, I could full body nut right now. I feel like shit, like I straight up think my body is failing me.” Noel says, and Cody’s grinning again. 

“Thank you, dude. Thank you.” Noel adds, opening the tupperware container and grabbing a fork. “Jeananne give you a hard time today?” He questions, taking an absurd mouthful of food.

“Another day, another dollar. I’m starting to think she just has a crush on me.” Cody jokes, pitching his voice up in a way that never fails to make Noel laugh. He reaches for one of the folders and slides it towards himself. 

“Pretty sure she’s a lesbian, my guy.” Noel says, amused, cheeks stuffed with rice. There’s a brief silence Noel is grateful for.

  
  


“What about this girl?” Cody asks, tilting a headshot photo towards Noel with a raised eyebrow. 

“Chinese.” Noel said simply, shoveling another bite. 

“Ah, I see...” Cody lies, grabbing another folder from the pile. “Oh, by the way, Sam called me today.” 

“Oh yeah? What about?” Noel questions, setting his fork down and turning his attention towards the other man.

“Word got out about Suki and he had a few questions, nothing serious.” Cody shrugged. 

“What do you mean ‘word got out’? We don’t even have actors yet. How is that possible?”

“Well...” Cody says quietly, looking down at his fidgeting. 

“Well?”

“I noticed not a lot of people were biting, so I may or may not have shared my involvement on a few of the casting sites.”

“Oh my god, you name-dropped yourself? On _my_ movie? You’re insane, you’re actually insane.” Noel said incredulously. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, but he couldn’t help the raise in his voice.

“I just wanted what was best for you.” Cody admits. Noel can tell he’s being honest but he doesn’t want to hear it.

“You Sam-ed me.” 

“I _Sam-ed_ you? C’mon, I did not Sam you.”

“You Sam-ed the hell out of me, man.” Noel says, shaking his head and pushing his food away. 

“Don’t be a baby. Eat your food.” Cody sighs, pushing it back.

“You eat your food.” Noel snaps back, taking a piece of chicken and tossing it at Cody.

“What are you, five?”

“What are you, a pussy?” 

Cody grabs a fistful of rice and sprinkles it into Noel’s hair because he definitely is not a pussy. 

“Fuck you, pussy!” Noel shouts, grabbing a handful of food and winding it at Cody as hard as he can. 

“You’d like that, huh?” 

Noel grabs his water bottle off the table and lunges at Cody, pushing him off the bench and to the ground. He’s straddling his waist, cap to his water unscrewed, bottle tipped at an 80° angle over Cody’s head. 

“Yeah, daddy. Get me wet.” Cody fake moans, and Noel grimaces before dumping it, completely soaking Cody’s chest and hair. Cody grabs his wrist and snatches the bottle, shaking it over Noel’s jeans.

“Poor little NoNo peed himself at work.” Cody mocks, and Noel can’t help but laugh.

“Wow, just when I think you can’t be any less funny you go and pull shit like that.” Noel says, strained.

Cody grabs his waist and flips them over, both in a fit of laughter, Cody’s hair dripping onto Noel’s face.

“I’m a goddamn light, baby.” Cody grins, tossing the water bottle across the balcony. They’re panting, unmoving, staring at one another with a fondness neither of them knew they were capable of. 

“Yeah, you are.” Noel admits breathlessly, and for the first time since their hook up nearly a month ago, Cody kisses him. 

“Ahem.” A voice from the balcony door grabs both of their attention, straining their necks in ignorant curiosity. 

“My office. Now, please.” 


End file.
